Chapter 1: Wage Slave in a Book

This Is Ridiculous Chapter 1

Synopsis

Wang Cuihua, an ordinary corporate slave, was on her way home when she suddenly transmigrated into a web novel. There, she became Yu Wanyin, a tyrant’s concubine. As it turned out, it was Concubine Yu’s turn to serve His Majesty in bed that night.

Upon meeting the tyrant, his words and mannerisms gave Yu Wanyin a curious sense of déjà vu. After careful contemplation, she decided to sound him out.

“How are you?” she blurted out in English.

The rims of Xiahou Dan’s eyes reddened, and he fell silent.

At length, he replied, also in English, “I’m fine, and you?”

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Wang Cuihua is a newly employed corporate drone. Her name, which translates to “Green Flower,” has a rustic charm with a touch of humor. After two years in the job, she has been tormented by both her boss and demanding clients. Despite having ambitions, the harsh reality has worn down her edges. Moreover, she never had grand aspirations. Her life philosophy is to get by, and her only hobby is reading online novels—not so much a hobby as a necessity, given the long subway commute with no other way to pass the time.

After two years, Wang Cuihua has read countless stories and can predict the plot after reading just the first few lines. Today, on her way home from work, she clicked on a brainless transmigration novel. The title, “Transmigrated into a Demon Consort,” sounded like trash. The only reason Wang Cuihua continued reading was that the beginning of the story mirrored her current situation: “Ma Chunchun is an ordinary corporate drone. One day, on her way home from work, she clicked on a brainless palace intrigue novel…”

Is this writing about me? Wang Cuihua was slightly intrigued and kept reading. Ma Chunchun unexpectedly transmigrated into a palace intrigue novel, “Eastern Wind Night Blooms a Thousand Trees,” becoming a cannon fodder female character. This character’s life was tragic, being forced into the palace and then unwillingly involved in palace schemes. The emperor, who had power over her life and death, was a tyrant. To protect herself, she joined others in persecuting the female lead and eventually died miserably in the palace intrigues. Meanwhile, the deeply scheming female lead played along with the tyrant while secretly colluding with a prince. She helped the prince assassinate the tyrant, and after his ascension, she became the empress, reaching the pinnacle of her life.

Ma Chunchun, transmigrated as the cannon fodder female, immediately started her counterattack. Through several schemes, she managed to attract the prince’s attention before the female lead, successfully taking over her path. While causing the tyrant’s death, she also had the female lead buried with him, eventually becoming an unparalleled empress.

At this point, Wang Cuihua lost interest. She had read too many novels with the same counterattack plot, at least eighteen times. She was about to switch to another brainless feel-good novel to kill time when she heard a loud noise, and her vision was flooded with white light. Wang Cuihua felt dizzy and found herself transmigrated into the very novel she had scoffed at. Upon waking, Wang Cuihua calmly looked for a mirror to see who she had become. The original text of “Transmigrated into a Demon Consort” didn’t have illustrations, but the descriptions were detailed. The cannon fodder female had a plain and delicate appearance, which Ma Chunchun had transformed into a stunning beauty with makeup.

Seeing the naturally beautiful face without makeup in the mirror, Wang Cuihua instantly despaired. She realized that the cannon fodder female had already been taken, leaving no room for her. She had transmigrated into the original female lead destined to be persecuted to death by the cannon fodder female—Yu Wan Yin. Yu Wan Yin felt anxious. She had skimmed the novel, remembering only the broad strokes of fate. Judging by her current attire, she had just entered the palace as a concubine. The cannon fodder female had entered the palace at the same time and was now taken over. She would soon meet her true love—the humble yet talented Prince Duan. They were about to share romantic moments, followed by two hundred chapters of love-hate entanglements, eventually overthrowing the tyrant. After the tyrant’s death, Yu Wan Yin was given a white silk sash to end her life, which took only three hundred words from her pleading to her burial.

Yu Wan Yin understood that the cannon fodder female was only nominally a cannon fodder. In the world of “Transmigrated into a Demon Consort,” she was the true chosen one, while Yu Wan Yin was merely an obstacle on her destined path, with no chance of fighting back. To survive, Yu Wan Yin’s best option was to find Prince Duan before the cannon fodder female. But her instinct told her this was impractical.

First, the cannon fodder female was a villain. The novel was titled “Demon Consort,” and her character was vindictive and ruthless, contrasting traditional virtues. She succeeded through cunning and cruelty. Now, with both the cannon fodder female and the female lead being transmigrated, they would fight fiercely over the same survival storyline, likely resulting in a deadly rivalry.

Second, Prince Duan was also a villain. Although the original novel described him as wise and courageous, Yu Wan Yin’s current perspective saw him as a scheming manipulator. Seeing two transmigrators vying in front of him, he would surely become suspicious. Even if she managed to eliminate the cannon fodder female and help him ascend, he would discard her once he no longer needed her.

After a quick calculation, Yu Wan Yin concluded that she needed a different approach. In this story filled with villains, to carve out a path for herself, she had to become the biggest villain, first helping the tyrant eliminate Prince Duan, then killing the tyrant to become the empress. While pondering, a delicate maid entered, pale-faced, and delivered her lines: “Miss, I am here to help you dress. Tonight, you must serve His Majesty well, and not be careless…” “Tonight?” Yu Wan Yin was surprised, then understood. She had arrived at the perfect time, as it was her turn to serve in bed tonight.

Seeing the maid’s hesitant and worried expression, she knew the original character was reluctant. According to the original plot, she would reject the tyrant due to her feelings for Prince Duan. After finally giving in, she would shed a beautiful tear on the bed, causing the tyrant to laugh and kick her into the cold palace. Prince Duan would originally meet her in the cold palace, but instead, the cannon fodder female would seduce him at the gate, robbing her of the opportunity for true love, and leaving her to a fate of jealousy and scheming, leading to her downfall.

Tonight was Yu Wan Yin’s last chance to turn the tables. She must win over the tyrant and form a strategic alliance to crush Prince Duan and the cannon fodder female. Determined to succeed, Yu Wan Yin thought: If the cannon fodder female could change her fate with makeup, why should she remain plain-faced? They were all corporate drones, so why couldn’t she flatter the boss? Yu Wan Yin had learned that in such novels, the emperor played the role of the client, demanding both beauty and charm. After two years of being tormented by clients at work, she was confident in her ability to charm this so-called tyrant.

Yu Wanyin smiled and said, “Xiaomei, could you just help me with my hair? I’ll handle the rest myself.” She examined the ancient cosmetics in front of her, applied powder, drew her eyebrows, put on lipstick, and added floral face stickers. She transformed her already beautiful face into one reminiscent of a freshly transformed fox spirit. Under Xiaomei’s shocked gaze, she changed into her outfit.

“How do I look?” she asked.

Xiaomei hesitated, “Miss, isn’t this makeup a bit too flamboyant?”

“It’s fine,” Yu Wanyin said confidently. In the original text, the tyrant liked this look, and the cannon fodder female gained favor by adopting a glamorous style. With the female lead’s natural beauty, this appearance would only amplify her allure exponentially.

Since she couldn’t avoid this situation, she decided to take the initiative and face life with the mindset of going into battle.

Yu Wanyin, bathed in the curious gazes of eunuchs and maids, was escorted to the emperor’s bedchamber. As she stepped inside, the temperature seemed to drop by two degrees. The room was eerily silent and filled with a sense of death. The tyrant, who suffered from chronic headaches, lay on the bed having his temples massaged. Most of his body was hidden behind the bed curtains, and from Yu Wanyin’s angle, she could only see a pale hand hanging over the edge of the bed.

The masseuse was trembling, fearing that a single wrong move could result in her being dragged out and buried.

The eunuch leading the way announced, “Your Majesty, Consort Yu is here.”

Yu Wanyin knelt gracefully by the bed. She could feel a gaze upon her, but after a long wait, all she heard was, “Leave.”

The voice was cold and weary.

Yu Wanyin was shocked and looked up. This scene wasn’t in the original story.

The tyrant’s guards were also agitated. Although they didn’t know how she had offended the tyrant, they immediately seized her and were about to drag her out.

Yu Wanyin was dumbfounded. Before she could figure out how to fight her fate, the guards’ actions were halted. The voice behind the curtains sounded annoyed, “Must she die if she doesn’t stay the night?”

The guards were confused and knelt to apologize, “Please spare us, Your Majesty.”

The tyrant seemed even more impatient. Yu Wanyin only saw the pale hand wave dismissively, and all the palace servants filed out, leaving her alone in the vast hall.

Yu Wanyin knelt for a long time, and seeing that the tyrant had no intention of speaking, she boldly reached out and lifted the bed curtains. The emperor, Xiahou Dan, was exceptionally handsome. When Yu Wanyin had read the novel, she had sarcastically thought the author must be a face fanatic, describing both the male lead, Prince Duan, and the antagonist emperor as extraordinarily handsome.

Seeing him up close now, the impact was even greater. His features were like ink, lips red as blood, exuding an ominous aura that even a thousand-year-old monk couldn’t exorcise.

With her fox spirit makeup, facing him made her deeply understand the phrase “a small sorcerer before a great sorcerer.”

He hadn’t expected her to approach and frowned at her without speaking.

Intimidated by his presence, Yu Wanyin forgot her prepared lines. They stared at each other in silence until Xiahou Dan finally spoke, “Who are you…”

Yu Wanyin reminded him, “Consort Yu.”

The tyrant promptly said, “Consort Yu, make yourself a bed on the floor.”

With that, he turned over and prepared to sleep.

Yu Wanyin was stunned. She stood there, replaying every word and action of the emperor since their meeting, feeling an eerie sense of familiarity. She couldn’t help but test further, “Your Majesty?”

The tyrant turned impatiently, “What is it now?”

Yu Wanyin, in a daze, asked, “How are you?” (in English)

Xiahou Dan was silent for a long time, then his eyes reddened, “I’m fine, and you?” (in English)

Ten minutes later, the two major antagonists of the original story sat facing each other, exchanging information.

Xiahou Dan said, “I transmigrated here two hours ago. I was lying on a yacht, sunbathing, drinking champagne, and playing on my phone. A stupid pop-up ad recommended this novel… I closed my eyes and opened them to find myself here.”

Yu Wanyin replied, “Two hours ago? Sunbathing? It was dark when I was on my way home from work. Were you on the other side of the ocean?”

Xiahou Dan nodded, “I was on vacation.”

Yu Wanyin was speechless, “Are you a stereotypical domineering CEO?”

Xiahou Dan said, “I don’t know about domineering, but I am a CEO, living a pretty good life.” Then he slapped his knee in frustration, “Damn it! How did I end up in a place without a decent bath, and with a brain tumor waiting to die!”

With his venomously beautiful face and crimson lips moving up and down, the scene was surreal.

Yu Wanyin forced herself to accept the situation, “Calm down. Your headache might not be from a tumor. If a tumor compresses nerves, there should be other symptoms.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Not sure, just guessing. On the bright side, maybe someone poisoned you slowly.”

Xiahou Dan was puzzled, “Have you read this novel? What’s my situation now?”

Yu Wanyin said, “I have, but I skimmed through it, not very carefully. Basically, your mother hates you, your brother Prince Duan hates you, your concubines hate you, and your ministers hate you. According to the original plot, I should hate you too.”

“What did I do that was so terrible?”

Yu Wanyin sighed, “Your mother isn’t your biological mother and didn’t educate you properly. You have chronic headaches, leading to a violent and paranoid personality. You’ve killed or exiled all the loyal ministers, and your policies have caused public outrage. According to the original plot, Prince Duan will overthrow you towards the end.”

Xiahou Dan asked, “How do I die?”

Yu Wanyin thought for a moment, “I forgot. I was so tired of reading by then that I skipped several pages. I think you were assassinated, but I can’t remember when, where, or by whom.”

Yu Wanyin started to believe that the person before her was indeed a seasoned CEO. Despite thinking deeply for a long time, he calmly asked, “And you? Your character doesn’t seem good either.”

Yu Wanyin admitted, “I’m a villain. Typically, in romance novels, the female lead has a bunch of terrible family members and backstabbing friends. But since I’m a villain, there’s not much detailed backstory. I was sent to the palace by my family as a pawn, but I fell in love with Prince Duan and constantly plotted against the cannon fodder female. Naturally, I ended up losing miserably. After your death, I was buried with you.”

Xiahou Dan said, “Oh.”

They looked at each other and, in that moment, reached a consensus: to survive, they had to form a strategic alliance and work together.

Xiahou Dan proposed, “I could kill them both now.”

Finally, he said something fitting his appearance.

Yu Wanyin shook her head, “That’s unlikely to work. Your power has already been mostly usurped. Killing Prince Duan won’t be easy. Besides, they are the chosen ones of the original story. All main plotlines serve them. If we kill them, it’s like cutting the novel short. We don’t know if we’ll survive.”

“So what’s your proposal?”

“We need to control variables first, change the plot bit by bit, observe the consequences, and then plan our next steps…”

Xiahou Dan raised a finger, “Wait. In the original story, our characters weren’t transmigrators, right? Since we’re here, will the cannon fodder girl still be taken over? If the three of us are transmigrators, what about Prince Duan? Is he still the original character?”

Yu Wanyin replied, “I have an idea to confirm their identities.”

The next day, Xie Yong’er, the cannon fodder girl, was doing her hair in front of the mirror when her maid rushed in excitedly, “Miss, I heard that His Majesty is holding a palace banquet, and all concubines can attend. You should dress up well. I’ve learned two trendy hairstyles recently…”

Xie Yong’er smiled, “You have so many ideas.” She appeared gentle and kind, letting the maid work on her hair, but a glint of calculation flashed in her eyes.

No one knew that the real Xie Yong’er had been replaced. The one controlling her body was Ma Chunchun, who had transmigrated into the novel. Ma Chunchun didn’t know about a transmigration novel called “Transmigrated into a Demon Consort,” nor did she know someone had read her life from a higher vantage point. To her, she was the only real person in a novel called “Eastern Wind Night Blooms a Thousand Trees,” all-knowing and all-powerful, holding the fate of all the paper characters.

For instance, the female lead, Yu Wanyin, had already developed feelings for Prince Duan, Xiahou Bo, and had been thrown into the cold palace after failing to serve the emperor well last night. Today, Prince Duan would have a chance encounter with her in front of the cold palace, sparking a romance.

Ma Chunchun’s plan was to intercept Prince Duan on his way to meet Yu Wanyin and take over her plotline. She turned to her maid, pretending to be concerned, “How is Sister Wanyin? She went to serve the emperor last night. Is there any news?”

The maid replied, “I heard His Majesty was very pleased last night. This morning, he decreed that Consort Yu is now promoted to Noble Consort Yu.”

Xie Yong’er’s hand trembled, causing a hairpin to fall on the table. How could this be? Did her arrival disrupt the original plotline? It didn’t matter. As long as she firmly held onto the main plot, her future would be bright.

Xie Yong’er changed into a plain outfit, applied her carefully crafted makeup, and, relying on her memory of the original novel, wandered through the palace. She soon found herself near the cold palace, waiting for Prince Duan. She knew he would soon come to exchange information with his informants.

Sure enough, footsteps approached. She turned and saw the young prince walking slowly, dressed in a white python robe, with a golden crown and jade belt, exuding nobility.

He didn’t panic at seeing someone near the cold palace, claiming he was lost and asking her for directions with a charming demeanor.

Xie Yong’er shyly responded, successfully capturing his interest. She offered to lead him, and they walked together, chatting happily. As they neared their destination, she stepped back, “I can’t go any further. Your Highness, please proceed.”

Prince Duan hesitated, “Who are you?”

She revealed her identity, “I am one of the palace concubines.”

Prince Duan looked slightly disappointed, “I thought you were a court lady…”

Watching his reluctant departure, Xie Yong’er smiled. The plan was set.

The next day, Xie Yong’er had to attend the palace banquet. She sat among the concubines, sneaking a glance at the infamous tyrant. Xiahou Dan leaned lazily on the table, his long hair flowing down, his beauty almost otherworldly. If one didn’t know his cruel nature, they might be enchanted at first sight.

To her surprise, a lovely figure sat close to the tyrant, serving him attentively. Yu Wanyin, now Noble Consort Yu, wore a magnificent crimson palace dress and golden headgear, her face beaming with pride. She, already beautiful, now sat intimately with Xiahou Dan, creating a scene reminiscent of a fairy tale.

Xie Yong’er was puzzled. Her arrival had indeed altered the plot, as Yu Wanyin had not angered the tyrant and been sent to the cold palace but had gained his favor and been promoted. Of course, she didn’t care about the short-lived title of Noble Consort. Who could laugh last was still uncertain.

She kept a low profile, blending into the crowd, not wanting to attract unnecessary attention. But fate had other plans. After three rounds of wine, Yu Wanyin, with charming grace, suggested, “Your Majesty, the atmosphere is perfect. Why not have the ladies perform songs and dances?”

Xie Yong’er knew the female lead had prepared a performance to show off and sneered internally. The tyrant, seemingly enchanted by her, clapped and agreed, “Good idea. Anyone who performs poorly will be buried on the spot.”

The concubines trembled with fear. Xie Yong’er coldly watched the pair of heartless villains.

Unbeknownst to her, the pair was exchanging glances.

Xiahou Dan: Did I overact?

Yu Wanyin: No, it’s quite accurate.

The concubines, desperate to save their lives, hurriedly performed. Xie Yong’er, being a transmigrator, had never learned ancient songs and dances but remained calm. She brought out a prop, sat on the stage, and said, “Your Majesty, this is an instrument I created in my spare time. Please forgive my poor performance.”

Xiahou Dan: “Hmm, this instrument is…”

It was a guitar.

Xiahou Dan pinched his thigh under the table to avoid laughing.

Xiahou Dan: “…looks interesting.”

Xie Yong’er started playing the first note.

Yu Wanyin buried her head low, trying hard to control her expression.

It was Canon in D.

Xiahou Dan: “…good, very good.”

Yu Wanyin saw him pinching his thigh again and buried her head lower.

Xie Yong’er played a wrong note but remained composed, knowing no one would recognize the original tune.

Yu Wanyin started pinching her own thigh.

After the performance, Xie Yong’er saw Yu Wanyin’s face twisted with anger and felt a sense of satisfaction. So what if you’re the female lead? I can still win with my talents.

Xiahou Dan: “Very good.”

After the song, Xie Yong’er returned to her seat. Xiahou Dan, covering his mouth with a wine cup, whispered, “She’s a transmigrator.”

Yu Wanyin nodded, “Clearly.”

Xiahou Dan: “She doesn’t seem very smart.”

Yu Wanyin: “Don’t underestimate her.”

An attendant announced, “Prince Duan has arrived.”

Xiahou Dan put down his cup and smiled sinisterly, “Finally.”

Prince Duan, Xiahou Bo, entered and greeted them. Xiahou Dan lazily granted him a seat and asked, “Brother, how was the border defense? Has your injury healed?”

Prince Duan had volunteered for border defense, fought several successful battles, and gained the admiration of several generals. His reputation was widespread, with the border people knowing only Prince Duan, not the emperor’s name.

But facing the emperor, he appeared gentle and kind, “Your Majesty, I had a minor fall while riding. It’s nothing serious now.”

Yu Wanyin felt a chill down her spine. She had been amused earlier, but now, facing this smiling tiger, she sensed the danger.

If this man was also a transmigrator, he deserved an Oscar for his performance.

Prince Duan exchanged a few pleasantries with the emperor, his gaze sweeping the room, meeting Xie Yong’er’s. Xie Yong’er’s heart raced, hearing the emperor say, “This is Consort Xie. She just performed with a self-made instrument, quite interesting.”

Prince Duan glanced at her guitar, raised an eyebrow slightly, showing no other reaction, “Oh?”

Xiahou Dan ordered, “Play another song for my brother.”

Xie Yong’er played “Romance de Amor” this time. She hadn’t practiced for a while and, without sheet music, played freely, often improvising.

Prince Duan listened, sipping his wine, seemingly enjoying it. He neither showed novelty nor any sign of amusement.

Xie Yong’er, her fingers dancing on the strings, glanced at him with eyes full of emotion, hiding her survival instinct. She needed to win the chosen one’s heart.

But Prince Duan wasn’t looking at her. He glanced discreetly at Yu Wanyin beside the emperor, deep in thought.

Xie Yong’er’s heart skipped a beat, causing her to hit a wrong note. Yu Wanyin’s sharp gaze shot towards Prince Duan, her eyes bright and alert, until Xiahou Dan nudged her, and she reluctantly toned down her intensity.

Prince Duan, facing her gaze, remained calm and smiled gracefully. After the song, he applauded, “Truly a celestial melody.”

Yu Wanyin withdrew her gaze in disappointment. Xiahou Dan, beside her, whispered, “One more song?”

Yu Wanyin replied, “No use. Either he’s not transmigrated or doesn’t care about music.”

Xiahou Dan asked, “Do you want to do some calisthenics?”

Yu Wanyin looked at him incredulously. Revealing their identity when the situation was unclear was too risky.

Xiahou Dan realized his mistake and fell silent.

Prince Duan observed the intimate interaction between the emperor and the newly favored consort, politely excused himself, and left.

After the banquet, Xiahou Dan sighed, “It’s hard to tell if he’s transmigrated.”

Yu Wanyin said, “I hope he is. The original Prince Duan and you are mortal enemies.”

Prince Duan, as the original male lead, was on a path of revenge. Though born before Xiahou Dan, his mother was a lowly palace maid, who became a concubine after catching the previous emperor’s eye. The empress outwardly treated her as a sister but sacrificed her during a palace struggle. Xiahou Bo witnessed his mother’s brutal death. Two years later, the empress bore Xiahou Dan, the crown prince. After another two years, the empress died. A new empress, now the empress dowager, took care of the crown prince, showing her love by bullying other princes, making palace life hell for Xiahou Bo, who was forced to be the crown prince’s study companion and suffered daily torment.

Upon leaving the palace, Xiahou Bo vowed revenge. If Prince Duan was the original character, reconciliation with Xiahou Dan was impossible, leading to a deadly struggle. Yu Wanyin hoped he was transmigrated, but today’s encounter showed that if he was, his acting was impeccable, making the situation dire.

She also felt that the chosen one had glanced at her more than once today. Could it be that she had revealed something?

That night, An Xian helped Xiahou Dan change clothes and routinely asked, “Will Your Majesty summon someone tonight?”

Xiahou Dan casually replied, “Noble Consort Yu.”

An Xian was shocked. Three consecutive nights? As a long-serving eunuch, he knew Xiahou Dan’s temperament too well. The palace was filled with corpses. An Xian considered himself fortunate to have survived.

The emperor was notoriously capricious and violent, suffering from headaches that left no room for anyone by his side. Concubines who were unfortunate enough to be chosen typically faced dire outcomes if they failed to serve him well, with punishments varying according to his mood. Unexpectedly, Yu Wanyin had emerged and inexplicably gained his favor.

What extraordinary qualities did this Consort Yu possess?

An Xian, deep in thought, was abruptly forced to look up as icy fingers grasped his chin. Xiahou Dan’s gaze was like that of someone appraising livestock, his tone soft yet chilling, “Is there a problem?”

An Xian shivered, “I’ll go fetch her immediately.”

Rather than sending someone, An Xian went personally to escort her, even presenting an exquisitely crafted box of jewelry with a smile, “Consort Yu, with such beauty, His Majesty will surely be pleased if you wear these.”

Yu Wanyin remembered this old eunuch from the original novel. He was depicted as a sycophant, currying favor and bullying the weak. After Xie Yong’er rose to power, he had similarly tried to ingratiate himself, but she remembered how he had humiliated her and had him imprisoned on a trumped-up charge.

Yu Wanyin accepted the jewelry with a commercial smile, “Thank you, Eunuch An.”

An Xian rubbed his hands together, “If you need anything else, just let me know.”

Yu Wanyin thought for a moment, “Do you have hotpot?”

An Xian: “?”

A small hotpot was set up in the bedchamber. After the servants left, the tyrant and his newly favored consort sat facing each other around it.

Yu Wanyin dipped a piece of tripe into the broth and said, “I feel like it’s missing a few seasonings.”

“Be grateful we have this much. Just eat,” Xiahou Dan replied listlessly, poking at a plate of lamb. “Who knows how many more meals like this I can have.”

Yu Wanyin choked, “Don’t talk like that.”

“You don’t know how terrifying it is when I go to court. None of the ministers discuss state affairs. One suggests where I should go for entertainment, another what I should eat. It’s like a large-scale hospice.”

Yu Wanyin said, “That’s because the original owner of this body drove away all the loyal ministers. Only sycophants are left, especially the military officials who now all side with Prince Duan. Your timing was off; all the big mistakes have already been made. Now, you lack the personnel to make any significant changes…”

Yu Wanyin commented matter-of-factly, then noticed Xiahou Dan holding his head in pain, his face pale.

She paused, “Is it really that painful?”

Xiahou Dan opened his eyes and smiled, “The original owner was probably driven mad by the pain.”

Yu Wanyin dipped another piece of tripe, hiding her expression. She had been here for three days, her mind constantly working to find the best survival route. She had evaluated the key players around her.

Xie Yong’er, the chosen one, hadn’t shown her full capabilities yet. Xiahou Bo, the chosen prince, was formidable, whether transmigrated or not. But Xiahou Dan, a fellow transmigrator, seemed unreliable despite his adaptability.

Given the dire situation, could she really trust this person to help her defeat Prince Duan?

Feigning nonchalance, she said, “I think we should try to win over Xie Yong’er. As the chosen one and an important ally of Prince Duan, if she sides with us, our chances will improve greatly. Besides, we’re all here to survive. If we can talk things out, there’s no need to fight.”

In truth, her considerations went deeper. Not knowing how much Xiahou Dan had deduced, he didn’t object, “Alright, you can approach her tomorrow. And what about me?”

“You…” Yu Wanyin recalled the original plot, “You should approach a man named Xu Yao. He’s a strategist for Prince Duan, very intelligent. Many of Prince Duan’s actions are based on his advice. Wait, the pot is burning dry!”

Preoccupied with their schemes, they had ignored the boiling hotpot. Yu Wanyin jumped up, “Water, we need water!”

“Calm down, here it is.” Xiahou Dan lifted a prepared pot of broth and poured it in. 

Footsteps echoed. Yu Wanyin turned slowly to see a shocked palace maid at the door. Though ordered to leave, she had stayed nearby. Hearing the commotion, she had rushed in to find the tyrant, known for burying people alive, calmly adding broth to the hotpot.

Yu Wanyin stiffened, looking at Xiahou Dan. He set down the pot, glanced at the maid, and with a cold smile that belied his actions, said, “Leave.” His voice was soft, tinged with madness.

The maid fled. Inspired, Yu Wanyin recalled Xiahou Dan’s earlier behavior and asked, “Are you a good actor?”

Xiahou Dan sat back down, “Not bad. Negotiating business requires some deceit.”

“…But not to this extent!”

“What were we talking about? Oh, Xu Yao. You think I can turn him against Prince Duan?”

Yu Wanyin nodded excitedly, “I think so. Xu Yao supports Prince Duan because you exiled his father, a loyal minister, on false charges. Xu Yao was also supposed to be exiled, but Prince Duan saved him and hid him as a strategist. Xu Yao hasn’t given up and still tries to rescue his father.”

Xiahou Dan said, “So I go to him, promise to bring his father back, and in return, he supports me?”

Yu Wanyin replied, “It’s not that simple. He’ll resent you and ask why you wronged his father.”

Xiahou Dan sneered, “I’ll say I was a blind, deaf mad king, easily swayed by a false report.”

Yu Wanyin, getting into character, retorted, “Since you know Wei Taifu slandered him, why do you still trust him?”

Xiahou Dan paused, then laughed, “Wei Taifu? Xu Yao, poor fool, do you still think that old man betrayed your father?”

Yu Wanyin corrected, “He’s not that old.”

Xiahou Dan continued, “Xu Yao, poor fool, do you still think that brat betrayed your father?”

Yu Wanyin: “…”

Yu Wanyin asked, “Then who did?”

Xiahou Dan leaned in, his voice sinister, “Who saved your life? Who took you in with feigned compassion and made you his guard dog?”

Yu Wanyin stepped back, “You’re lying!”

Xiahou Dan smiled, flicked his sleeve, and walked away, “Find out yourself.”

After a few steps, he turned back, “How was that?”

Yu Wanyin said, “Impressive.”

 

To avoid suspicion from potential spies in the palace, Yu Wanyin continued to sleep in the emperor’s bed, albeit with clear boundaries. The palace was cold and eerie, with a line drawn down the middle of the bed to keep them apart. They occasionally talked about potential threats.

At dawn, Yu Wanyin, with dark circles, put on her makeup—courtesy of An Xian—while Xiahou Dan got dressed. Noticing her new look, Xiahou Dan commented, “You look different.”

Yu Wanyin said, “This is my corporate drone look. Gentle and hardworking.”

Xiahou Dan: “?”

Yu Wanyin explained, “I need to look kind when I approach Xie Yong’er. You, however, need a makeover if you’re going to persuade Xu Yao. Come here.”

Xiahou Dan: “?”

The tyrant and his consort emerged from their palace, ready to tackle their respective tasks. Xiahou Dan went to court, while Yu Wanyin returned to her quarters.

Before she could seek out Xie Yong’er, Xie Yong’er came to her.

Xie Yong’er had sensed the threat.

Yesterday, she had intercepted Xiahou Bo at the cold palace gates, intending to sabotage his burgeoning romance with Yu Wanyin, only to see the two exchanging flirtatious glances at the palace banquet later. The favored consort, while tenderly leaning against the tyrant, was also catching Prince Duan’s eye with her looks. She was naturally beautiful and carried herself with grace, embodying the perfect heroine.

Could it be that Xiahou Bo was destined to be attracted to Yu Wanyin, and no matter what she did, Xie Yong’er was doomed to a cannon fodder’s fate, destined to die like an ant?

Xie Yong’er didn’t believe in fate.

She always felt that reading all those scheming and palace intrigue novels on her commute wasn’t in vain. She was meant for something greater.

After returning, Xie Yong’er discussed with her trusted circle and came up with a simple yet effective plan to counter Consort Yu’s rise.

Today, she, along with a few close friends, arrived carrying delicate pastries, smiling warmly.

“Consort Yu, now that you are so favored, please don’t forget your dear sisters in the palace,” Xie Yong’er said sweetly.

Yu Wanyin: “…” We’re both transmigrators, but why do you sound so authentic?

Xie Yong’er opened the box of pastries, claiming to have made them herself and urging her to try them.

Yu Wanyin: “…………”

She picked up a sweet pastry, wary of poison, but also doubting that the chosen one would use such a low-level tactic. If this was her level of intelligence, she might not be worth winning over.

Xie Yong’er watched as she placed the untouched pastry aside, maintaining her warm demeanor as they chatted amiably. Meanwhile, the maid Xie Yong’er brought stealthily moved towards the corner.

Yu Wanyin sighed in relief. It seemed there was indeed a higher-level tactic at play. She ignored the maid’s movements, seizing the moment to build rapport. “Don’t mention it. Titles like consort or concubine don’t mean much. Sister Yong’er, let me tell you something from the heart. Today, the emperor may elevate you, but tomorrow, he could cast you down.”

Xie Yong’er was taken aback.

Was this the character of the original female lead?

Her friends gasped and urged Yu Wanyin to be cautious with her words.

Yu Wanyin continued, “I trust you won’t spread this. We women are mere pawns in this place. If we don’t look out for each other, we’re just playing into the hands of those vile men.”

Xie Yong’er: “???”

Yu Wanyin’s words were largely sincere. She wasn’t trying to win over Xie Yong’er for Xiahou Dan’s sake, but for her own survival. If Xie Yong’er could let go of her grudge, Yu Wanyin had no interest in palace intrigue. Why not just sit down and enjoy a hotpot together?

Her alliance with Xiahou Dan was a necessity. She didn’t fully trust him. Even in the best scenario where they win, Xiahou Dan could easily turn on her, saying, “You know too much.” The system inherently placed her at a disadvantage.

Surviving in this game was incredibly difficult. More friends meant fewer enemies. It was foolish not to align with the chosen one.

However, she couldn’t directly reveal her transmigrator status. According to the original story, Xie Yong’er and Xiahou Bo were a pair, already in love. Telling Xie Yong’er would be like telling Xiahou Bo, and she couldn’t predict how he would use that information.

Yu Wanyin could only subtly hint: Sister, don’t get caught up in romance. Forget about men. I’ll take care of you.

But her efforts were in vain.

Xie Yong’er, seeing the urgency in Yu Wanyin’s eyes, felt calmer. She was just a paper character, unable to break free from the story’s confines. This sudden kindness was likely an attempt to lull her into a false sense of security.

Fortunately, she knew the script.

Remembering the sachet Prince Duan had sent last night, Xie Yong’er felt confident. The situation was favorable. She just needed to act decisively and eliminate this short-lived female lead early.

Still smiling, Xie Yong’er noticed a hint of impatience in her own eyes. Looking at Yu Wanyin struggling to find the right words, she saw a clown. There was no need to waste time on a dead woman.

After receiving a signal from her maid, Xie Yong’er sat for a while longer before excusing herself.

Outside, her friends eagerly asked, “How did it go?”

Xie Yong’er replied, “Successfully. The skirt hem of that dress Yu Wanyin hangs on the wall is stained with Wei Zi flower juice. It’s so well hidden, she won’t notice it. Once she wears it, we can act.”

The Wei Zi flower only grew in a corner of the Peony Garden.

One friend was worried, “Can we rely on just a few drops of flower juice?”

Xie Yong’er smiled, “The emperor is very suspicious.”

“…”

Concubine Chu, who had been following Xie Yong’er, hesitated before speaking softly, “That Consort Yu is quite enchanting and speaks as if she’s very sincere.”

Xie Yong’er didn’t respond.

Xu Yao left the imperial study with his heart still pounding. He had been secretly summoned to the palace, prepared for a life-or-death situation. The tyrant’s invitation suggested that his hidden background had been discovered, and possibly his attempts to rescue his exiled father.

But to his surprise, the meeting had taken an unexpected turn. Xiahou Dan hadn’t killed him; instead, he had offered to pardon his father.

Xu Yao still found it hard to believe what Xiahou Dan had implied.

Wei Taifu had framed his father on Prince Duan’s orders? And then Prince Duan saved him, just to make him a strategist?

Xu Yao couldn’t believe it. Who didn’t know the emperor was a madman, violent and capricious? Could a madman speak the truth?

Full of doubts, Xu Yao left the palace. Shortly after, Xiahou Dan emerged from the imperial study, wiping his reddened eyes. He had been so immersed in his role, lamenting his inability to discern loyalty from treachery, that he had even shed a few tears. Xu Yao’s expression at that moment had been one of sheer disbelief.

The weather was clear, and Xiahou Dan dismissed his sedan chair, strolling towards the imperial garden.

Yu Wanyin, having taken a nap, changed into a cooler dress and went outside to enjoy the sunshine, wandering into the garden. As she watched the fish in the pond, she heard hurried footsteps. A young eunuch ran towards her, shouting, “Consort Yu, something terrible has happened!”

Yu Wanyin asked, “What is it?”

The eunuch, panicked and unable to speak coherently, muttered something about the emperor. Yu Wanyin leaned closer, “What?”

As soon as she did, the eunuch cried out and fell backward into the pond, flailing and shouting, “Consort Yu, have mercy, I know I was wrong!”

Yu Wanyin: “…”

Sensing what was happening, she slowly turned around.

Xiahou Dan stood ten steps away.

Xiahou Dan: “…”

Yu Wanyin: “…”

Xiahou Dan glanced at this classic palace drama frame-up scene and turned to leave.

The flailing eunuch in the pond: “?”

Before Xiahou Dan could take a few steps, the eunuch climbed out, shouting, “Your Majesty, I have something to report.”

An Xian, standing nearby, reprimanded, “How dare you!”

The eunuch ignored him, speaking quickly, “I saw Consort Yu walking with a man who looked like a guard. When I confronted her, she pushed me into the water…”

Xiahou Dan: “Drag him away.”

The guards hesitated, “…Your Majesty, whom should we drag?”

Xiahou Dan pointed at the eunuch.

The eunuch: “?”

Desperate, the eunuch shouted, “Has Consort Yu been to the Peony Garden today?”

Yu Wanyin, playing along, replied, “No.”

The eunuch: “Then how did your dress get stained with Wei Zi flower juice?”

Xiahou Dan: “Drag him away.”

The eunuch: “???”

As the eunuch was dragged away, he shouted, “Your Majesty, I have witnesses!”

Xiahou Dan asked, “Where are they?”

The guards stopped. An old palace maid stepped forward, trembling, “Your Majesty, I’ve been cleaning in the Peony Garden…”

Xiahou Dan interrupted, “Drag her away too.”

Old palace maid: “?”

Yu Wanyin, who had been watching the scene, was stunned. Seriously, he was fast-forwarding through everything.

With the accusers dragged away, Xiahou Dan, unfazed, was ready to leave. Yu Wanyin had to clear her throat.

Xiahou Dan paused, looking at her, “?”

Surrounded by palace staff, Yu Wanyin tried to convey with her eyes: Dude, you’re out of character. I don’t know what a mad emperor should be like, but definitely not like this.

Xiahou Dan seemed to understand, slowly approaching her. His cold fingers, like serpents, wrapped around her neck.

His voice was almost tender, “My love, you wouldn’t betray me, would you?”

Yu Wanyin replied timidly, “Heaven and earth can attest to my loyalty to Your Majesty. If you doubt me…”

“How could I doubt you?” Xiahou Dan caressed her face, “Those I doubt are already dead.”

All the palace staff lowered their heads, trying to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible.

Xiahou Dan continued, “Do you have any idea who framed you?”

Of course, it was Xie Yong’er. This was the perfect opportunity to ally with the chosen one, so Yu Wanyin responded, “I do not know.”

“Really?” Xiahou Dan asked menacingly.

Yu Wanyin gave a patient, magnanimous smile, “Your Majesty has many important matters to attend to, and I don’t wish to disrupt the harmony among the palace sisters. Whoever did this likely regrets it. Your Majesty, please give her another chance.”

The palace staff around them were taken aback, struggling to hide their reactions.

Hi! Each translation is a labor of love, crafted with dedication and care.

As I handle all aspects of this work alone, from translation to editing and publication, your support means the world to me. If you enjoy my translations and would like to help me continue this journey, please consider supporting me on Ko-fi or Trakteer. Your contributions will directly enable me to dedicate more time and resources to delivering high-quality translations.

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10 thoughts on “Chapter 1: Wage Slave in a Book”

  1. Do you think I lack manners? I see no issue with other novels having different translators here. I posted my translation to provide people with more options and to make my translations easily accessible. This is not a competition. Let’s work together to ensure the novel is appreciated globally. Our focus should be on recognizing and celebrating the author’s hard and remarkable work, not on competing with each other. Let’s approach this with greater maturity.

    1. I’m sorry for the comment, I am now enlightened by your reply it is really not a competition because the story belongs to the author, please forgive me, I am really immature.
      But you really did a great job in the translations. Once again, sorry!!

  2. Naika Lajyazia

    wow, aren’t you the other translator in the novelupdates? idk you’re so rude. in there, there isn’t problem if there are diff translators. you’re not even the author of the book. you don’t have the right to be this entitled thinking only you can translate the book

  3. Naika Lajyazia

    thank you for the translations, just ignore that person rude comment. that person may be an immature person.

  4. Dear Translator

    I’m Nada Indonensian Translator. I read your translation novel “ This Is Ridiculous (成何体统) ” and got hooked. So here, i want to ask permission to re-translating it to Indonesian and post them on https://wattpad.com, if you don’t mind. I will also put your link on my indonesian’s chapter

    Thank you for your attention, i will be waiting for your reply.

    Regards,
    NadaLestaT

    1. I am pleased to hear that you are captivated by the story. I would appreciate it if you could translate it into Indonesian, provided that you include a credit link to my page in every chapter. I have invested considerable effort in translating each chapter, and they represent a labor of love and dedication. Therefore, if you choose to retranslate the content into Indonesian, please ensure that a credit link to my page is included with each chapter.

      Warm regards,
      Veyrithele

  5. Hi! Sorry if Im bothering you, but first of all i just read “This is ridiculous” and i loved it! You are one the few translator out there than can make a really good job^^, so i was wondering if I could do the same thing as the indonesian translator but retranslaste in spanish? The hispanic community is missing out a lot of these masterpieces… Obviusly i would give you all the credits in each chapter, if its not possible, then pls dont mind, thank youu

    1. Hello,

      Certainly, you may retranslate the text into Spanish. However, please ensure to provide proper credit in each chapter, as every translation represents a considerable effort and dedication. I would be pleased if this allows more readers to become acquainted with the author and their masterpiece. Thank you for appreciating my work. Warm regards, and please mention me when the translation is complete. Goodluck ❤️

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