Chapter 4: Fire In The Library

This Is Ridiculous Chapter 4

Fire In The Library

This chapter is a personal favorite, as it features Xiahou Dan affectionately addressing Yu Wanyin as 阿妃. To fully appreciate the tenderness of this moment, you can watch it in the donghua.

But also be prepared, as this chapter contains some sorrowful moments.

Yu Wanyin shook her head. A slightly tipsy Xiahou Dan seemed to sense her thoughts, his dark eyes sweeping over to her. She hastily looked away.

Xiahou Dan blinked and, falling into his playful mood, rested his chin on his hand and asked, “Beloved consort, are you sneaking a peek at me?”

Yu Wanyin jumped up and said, “I’m going to wash up and sleep.”

Xiahou Dan, still propping up his chin, said, “Want to join me? You might see more.”

Yu Wanyin froze, shivering as she turned her head back.

Xiahou Dan burst out laughing and waved her off, “Go on, go on.”

When Yu Wanyin was out of sight, Xiahou Dan remained seated alone.

He continued to sip his drink, but the smile on his lips gradually faded. Without a companion, the vast hall seemed empty, and a cold, lonely chill seeped through the cracks in the floor.

A figure approached silently and knelt behind him.

Xiahou Dan didn’t turn around, gently setting his cup down, “Does Mr. Bai have news?”

The person handed him a letter, “Please take a look, Your Majesty.” If Yu Wanyin were present, she would have noticed that this dusty, travel-worn shadow guard was not on the list they had agreed upon. He was a stranger.

Xiahou Dan opened the letter, and a few wax-sealed pills fell out. He paused, then unfolded the paper to read it, his expression growing impatient, “He hasn’t given up yet?”

The shadow guard remained silent.

Xiahou Dan set the letter on fire with a candle, poured a cup of tea, and swallowed one of the pills. Only then did he instruct, “Tell him everything in the palace is normal. Continue as planned.”

After bathing, Yu Wanyin dried her hair and went to bed. The bedding had been upgraded to modern standards, making the pillows softer and the blankets warmer, greatly improving her quality of life.

As Xiahou Dan took his turn bathing, she lay in bed, somewhat tense. But in the end, Xiahou Dan just talked a bit, not crossing any lines, and stayed on his side of the bed.

Yu Wanyin had found a sense of security with the upgraded security measures and had been sleeping well recently. However, tonight, she was restless with worry about Bei Zhou.

After her eyes adjusted to the dark, she realized Xiahou Dan was also awake, staring at the bed canopy.

She hesitated, then whispered, “Can’t sleep either?”

Xiahou Dan closed his eyes, his breath heavy, and mumbled something indistinct, like “knew it wouldn’t work.”

“What’s not working?” Yu Wanyin asked, unsure if she heard correctly.

Xiahou Dan exhaled a shaky breath, “Headache.”

Is it that bad? Yu Wanyin hesitated before moving closer, “Let me massage it for you?”

Concern for a companion was normal, she told herself.

Xiahou Dan didn’t refuse. But when her fingers touched his temple, his whole body tensed. Even in the dark, she could feel him clenching his teeth.

“Does it hurt? Should I be gentler?”

“…Mm.”

She hadn’t learned proper massage techniques, so she gently traced circles, “I’m not sure if this is comforting or not, but this headache is just a plot device. It won’t kill you—at least not before you’re assassinated.”

Xiahou Dan’s tense body gradually relaxed, and he said with a hint of sarcasm, “That’s really reassuring.”

“Hey, don’t be like that,” Yu Wanyin, not one to bicker with a sick person, continued, “When I’m having menstrual cramps, I’m just as irritable. Let’s have Bei Zhou check it out when he gets back. Maybe it’s a tumor or poison. He’s seen a lot in the martial world and might recognize something the royal physicians don’t.”

“Mm.”

“Are you actually afraid of dying?” she asked softly, her fingers warm from the blankets.

Xiahou Dan smirked, “Hard to say.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Yu Wanyin continued, “It’s okay. I’m scared too. But you’re the boss here, so you need to adjust your mindset and show some spirit. Even if Bei Zhou can’t get the book, we’ll keep fighting…”

“Don’t worry,” Xiahou Dan cut her off, “As long as you don’t give up, neither will I.”

Yu Wanyin pondered his words.

Was she overthinking it, or did that sound a bit ambiguous?

Before she could dwell on it, Xiahou Dan added, “After all, I still need you to help me get through this.”

Yu Wanyin refocused, “Absolutely.”

Xiahou Dan relaxed under her touch, his breathing becoming steady. As he fell asleep, Yu Wanyin felt her own weariness take over, her fingers slowing until they stopped.

When she was sound asleep, Xiahou Dan opened his eyes again, watching her intently.

Yu Wanyin didn’t know how long she had slept. When she suddenly woke up, it was slightly brighter around her, but still not dawn.

Someone outside the bed curtains whispered, “Wake up, the book has arrived.”

Beizhou was back!

Yu Wanyin shot up like a fish out of water and immediately sensed something was off. She turned her head and saw Xiahou Dan’s upper body had crossed the boundary line, taking up half her pillow.

Yu Wanyin: “…”

This can’t be on purpose, right? It must be just bad sleeping habits, and he’ll be just as surprised when he realizes it.

Beizhou called again from outside the bed curtains, “Dan’er?”

Xiahou Dan opened his eyes, sat up, and calmly put on his clothes, “Coming.”

It was on purpose! Yu Wanyin felt a bit dizzy.

All this time, Xiahou Dan had treated her with the strategic alliance attitude when they were alone, though they were quite close, he’d never crossed any boundaries.

So what’s going on now? Do regular strategic allies share pillows?

Suppressing her confusion, Yu Wanyin got dressed and jumped out of bed, “Is Uncle Bei hurt?”

Beizhou chuckled, “It’s not so easy to hurt me. But besides the guards, there were other sentries nearby, sent by different people. It took some time to evade them.”

Xiahou Dan had already sat down at the table, pretending nothing was wrong, “Seems my dear royal brother hasn’t let his guard down yet. Good thing we had you, Uncle Bei.”

Beizhou pulled a dust-covered book from his robe, “What is this exactly? A treasure map?”

Xiahou Dan replied, “Close, but not quite.”

The three of them lit a lamp and opened the book left by Xu Yao.

The cover bore the title “The Customs of the Great Xia,” but inside it was filled with handwritten notes, densely packed and in very messy handwriting.

Clearly, when Xu Yao wrote these, he either treated them as reminders or intended them as leverage against the prince. They weren’t meant for others, so the sentences were casual, with many abbreviations.

Yu Wanyin squinted for a long time before deciphering one line: “Sway… Deputy Zhao? Who is this Deputy Zhao?”

Xiahou Dan pondered, “There’s a deputy commander in the Imperial Guards with that surname. We’ll confirm later.”

Yu Wanyin realized. In the original text, the prince did sway the deputy commander, then supported him in overthrowing the commander, thus gaining control of the Imperial Guards. That’s why his path from regent to emperor was smooth and unhindered.

She squinted and read two more pages, which were plans of action, aligning closely with the plot she remembered. The records were much clearer than her vague recollection, even detailing dates and times.

One page started with “Lead Yan State spy to remove Jia”—this “Jia” referred to an opponent the prince intended to eliminate through the spy.

Unfortunately, that Yan State spy had died in the brothel yesterday.

Another page mentioned, “February, recruit failed candidates”—next February, there would be an imperial examination. However, corruption had tainted the examination system, leaving talented but underprivileged scholars with no opportunities.

The prince, adept at winning support, would privately contact some failed talents, offering them positions through other means, thus securing their allegiance.

It even listed the positions available for placement.

Yu Wanyin was thrilled.

Given Beizhou’s presence, she couldn’t discuss these details with Xiahou Dan openly, so she just nodded lightly at him: This is useful!

Xiahou Dan nodded back: Impressive.

Beizhou was curious, “Are these the prince’s plans? He intends to rebel?”

Xiahou Dan smiled, “Yes. But with this book, we can thwart his plans step by step.”

Beizhou looked worried, “Dan’er, won’t this be too exhausting for you? Shouldn’t I just go chop his head off and be done with it?”

Xiahou Dan: “…”

Xiahou Dan: “Thank you, Uncle. But the prince’s faction is deeply rooted. Even if you’re powerful, you can’t fight off thousands alone.”

Beizhou fell into deep thought, seriously considering the possibility of single-handedly taking on ten thousand enemies.

Xiahou Dan added, “Even if we could uproot them, the Empress Dowager would become dominant next. Her next step would be to eliminate me. This cycle of killing only addresses symptoms, not the root cause.”

Beizhou asked, “Then how do we address the root cause?”

Xiahou Dan didn’t answer.

Yu Wanyin flipped through the book and suddenly asked, “Why did Yan State send assassins? They must know killing a few nobles won’t solve their problems, right?”

Beizhou explained, “It’s said that Yan State suffers from drought and famine year after year. They can’t sustain themselves. The worse their situation, the more they hate us. They’re almost driven mad. Plus, there’s internal power struggles. Sending assassins is likely a ploy to gain prestige.”

Yu Wanyin had a sudden epiphany, “Uncle Bei, what crops do they grow in their arid land?”

Xiahou Dan: “?”

Xiahou Dan: “!”

The two stared at Beizhou with intense eyes.

Beizhou scratched his head. “I think it’s called ‘Yan millet’? It’s not very good, coarse and hard to eat. In the Xia Kingdom, we don’t really grow it. If we do, it’s only to feed pigs.”

Yu Wanyin suppressed her excitement and said, “I see. Uncle Bei, you’ve worked hard tonight. Go and rest.”

Once Beizhou left, she jumped up immediately. “We’ve found a drought-resistant crop! Even if it’s hard to eat, if every household grows a little, how could we not survive a drought year? Then no one would rebel, the prince wouldn’t be able to exploit the situation, and everyone would be happy!”

Xiahou Dan pondered. “That’s a valid point, but common people have limited farmland. How do you convince them to grow pig feed?”

Yu Wanyin replied, “Uh, what if the court purchases it at a high price? That way, it encourages people to plant it, the state granaries get stocked, and the people get paid. When a drought comes, we can just open the granaries to provide relief.”

Xiahou Dan shook his head. “I’ve checked. The treasury is truly empty. This country has numerous taxes and levies, but there are too many corrupt officials from the court to local governments. The surrounding small countries are eyeing us, and we can’t cut military expenses… In short, the treasury has no money.”

“Print a lot of money?”

“That would cause inflation.”

Yu Wanyin asked, “Isn’t that bad?”

Xiahou Dan said, “Isn’t it?”

Yu Wanyin, puzzled, responded, “What tone is that? Aren’t you a CEO?”

Xiahou Dan: “…”

Xiahou Dan seemed more puzzled than she was. “Even if I’m a CEO, I haven’t studied economic history, okay? This isn’t a market economy. Printing money and reducing taxes would have widespread consequences…”

Yu Wanyin, feeling a headache coming on, said, “Fine, fine, neither of us understands this. We’ll have to get someone who does.”

She tapped Xu Yao’s book with her finger, pointing at the line “Recruit failed candidates.”

“I remember that among the candidates the prince recruited, many became capable officials later. We don’t have to wait for the imperial exams; we can poach them before he does.”

Xiahou Dan asked suspiciously, “With your skimming, can you remember the specific names of the candidates?”

Yu Wanyin: “…”

Yu Wanyin, feeling dejected, said, “I’ll try my best.”

The next morning, the Empress Dowager was fiddling with her crimson nails while listening to the maid’s routine report.

Maid: “His Majesty stayed with Lady Yu again last night.”

The Empress Dowager raised an eyebrow slightly. All these years, the emperor had never shown such favoritism towards a concubine. Moreover, from what she knew, the emperor was not only uninterested in bedroom matters but outright repulsed by them.

Feeling something was amiss, the Empress Dowager asked, “Did they share a bed?”

Maid: “The security around the Noble Consort’s palace is tight, so it’s hard to investigate. Additionally, His Majesty often dismisses the palace staff to be alone with Lady Yu.”

The Empress Dowager felt a strong sense of crisis. “It seems the birth control medicine must be sent.”

Maid: “I’ll see to it.”

The Empress Dowager continued, “Yu Wanyin doesn’t take me seriously. It’s time to teach her a lesson. Her father… holds the position of Assistant Minister, right?”

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2 thoughts on “Chapter 4: Fire In The Library”

  1. hello, thanks for the translation! i just got into the donghua and really excited about the novel 🙂
    quick question tho, it is said that the chapter quite lengthy, but to me it is quite shorter than the other chapters? is it supposed to be that way, or is there something wrong?

    1. Hello! Thank you for your observation. Actually, it is not lengthy; it is intended to convey sorrow as we have lost a character. The lengthy portion should be reserved for a different chapter. I have corrected it. I apologize for the confusion, and I hope you enjoy the read!

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