Chapter 19: No Solution

This Is Ridiculous Chapter 19

No Solution

This chapter exudes a high level of angst. Though brief, it evokes feelings of profound desperation and despair.

Rather than saying someone harmed him… It is more accurate to say that fate itself intended for him to gradually descend into madness.

Xiahou Dan felt a surge of frustration in his chest, his internal organs resonating with the lingering impact. Yet, when he finally exhaled, it was with a soft, almost inaudible sigh: “What an unlucky soul!”

Yu Wanyin’s expression was somewhat unusual as she held his hand: “He won’t be unlucky forever. After all, he has met us.”

For a moment, Xiahou Dan didn’t quite grasp who she meant by “us.”

His confusion must have shown on his face because Yu Wanyin added, “You and me, of course.”

No information could be extracted from the young prince.

He knew his life was ruined and could only greet others with a sinister smile, a smile sometimes eerily similar to the empress dowager’s.

Xiahou Dan issued an edict to strip him of his title as crown prince, ordering him to reflect on his mistakes in seclusion. Contrary to what he proclaimed to the empress dowager, he did not kill him but instead had him protected under the guise of imprisonment.

This was primarily to irritate Prince Duan.

With a deposed crown prince alive, even if Prince Duan successfully usurped the throne, he couldn’t rightfully inherit it. Naturally, a faction loyal to the crown prince would arise, engaging him in further power struggles.

And if they managed to eliminate Prince Duan, they could then turn their attention back to the crown prince’s reckoning.

Another of Yu Wanyin’s questions was soon answered.

Xie Yong’er brought back the answer: “Yes, they all believe you are pregnant. This speculation started spreading on the day you were made empress. The supposed evidence is that after you moved slightly, the emperor hastily wanted to take you away. Initially, few believed it, but then he suddenly deposed the only crown prince, and everyone said it was to make way for the child in your womb…”

Yu Wanyin: “…”

Yu Wanyin was at a loss for words: “Wasn’t the crown prince deposed because of his lack of virtue?”

“People only believe what they want to believe. Ancient thinking was ‘a mother gains honor through her son,’” Xie Yong’er analyzed succinctly, “But I suspect someone is spreading these rumors, taking advantage of this conventional thinking as part of a propaganda war.”

“Prince Duan?” Yu Wanyin was puzzled, “For what purpose?”

“I can’t guess for now. Just be careful.”

Despite these words, Yu Wanyin couldn’t just declare, “I’m not pregnant,” right? With no opportunity to clarify, she could only let the rumors be.

Knowing Prince Duan’s reinforcements were on the way, they couldn’t just sit and wait for them to be fully prepared.

Thus, the Imperial Astronomer suddenly announced an auspicious burial date, a once-in-a-thousand-years event, three days later. Xiahou Dan frowned before the court officials, deliberating, and finally said, “According to custom, the body should be kept for seven days, but given the empress dowager’s immense fortune, encountering such a rare date, let’s break the rule and bury her after three days.”

The former empress dowager’s supporters couldn’t utter a word of protest and had to compete in praising his filial piety.

All condolences were compressed into three days. Xiahou Dan, in mourning attire, personally kept vigil.

On the day of the empress dowager’s death, there were rumors of the emperor falling ill. But now, seeing him kneeling upright in the funeral hall, all gossip was dispelled.

After sending off a wave of royal relatives, Yu Wanyin returned indoors wrapped in a cloak of snow, stomping her feet: “It’s so cold, how can it be this cold? Could this drop in temperature also be Prince Duan’s scheme?”

Xiahou Dan stood up, tapping his knees: “You might be right, he must have invented localized cooling.”

“Or maybe the empress dowager’s resentment is too deep. Don’t you feel the eerie wind here? I just realized, her last night in the hall coincides with New Year’s Eve! Her death is dragging the whole country into mourning, preventing New Year’s celebrations. How much resentment is that…” Yu Wanyin rambled on.

Xiahou Dan: “Come here, I have something for you.”

“What?”

Xiahou Dan pulled something from beneath his wide mourning robes and placed it in her hands: “Hold this.”

It was a hand warmer.

Yu Wanyin laughed: “No wonder you can kneel for so long.”

Xiahou Dan lowered his voice: “Is there any movement outside?”

Yu Wanyin shook her head.

The seemingly empty funeral hall was surrounded by countless secret guards.

According to Xu Yao’s report, Prince Duan had two plans.

One was to send assassins to kill Xiahou Dan while he kept vigil, leaving no wounds to create a supernatural scene.

The second was to push down giant rocks disguised as an avalanche from a mountain during the funeral procession, trapping people in the canyon.

Both plans shared a common theme: they could be blamed on the empress dowager’s vengeful spirit, tying into the earlier rumors of “a tyrant punished by divine retribution.”

Xiahou Dan’s plan was to lay ambushes at both the funeral hall and the mountain. Ideally, catching the culprits in the act would justify eliminating Prince Duan. If the culprits escaped or couldn’t be traced to Prince Duan, they would still eliminate him, focusing on preserving their lives before worrying about public opinion.

Thus, any disturbance would be reported immediately by the secret guards.

Yet, possibly due to the tight security, Prince Duan seemed wary. They waited in the funeral hall for two days without seeing a single shadow.

Outside the perimeter, a few eunuchs and palace maids peeked around. If they were also sent by Prince Duan, it seemed too childish, more like “pretending to cause trouble” than actually causing it. The secret guards, wary of diversion tactics, doubled their watch around the mountain while keeping an eye on the hall.

This was the most oppressive Spring Festival Yu Wanyin had ever experienced. The period of mourning forbade music, and the palace was deathly silent. The impending disaster loomed like Mount Tai, even slowing the snowfall.

The only comfort was Xiahou Dan’s improving condition.

Xiao Tiancai snuck in daily to examine him, making detailed notes to deduce the poison in his body. Xiahou Dan, appearing relaxed, claimed his headaches had not worsened. Strangely, his chest wound healed quickly, allowing free movement.

Yu Wanyin: “I have a bold idea.”

Xiahou Dan: “What is it?”

“Think about it, Tu’er claimed the wound couldn’t heal, yet it inexplicably did for you.” Yu Wanyin analyzed seriously, “And after your recent headache, the wound healed even faster. Isn’t that odd?”

Xiao Tiancai interjected: “Indeed, it is unusual.”

Yu Wanyin, the seasoned web novel reader: “Do your medical texts mention ‘fighting poison with poison’?”

Xiao Tiancai: “Ah.”

After a moment’s thought, he nodded: “If both poisons are from the Qiang people, it’s possible they counteract each other.”

Yu Wanyin was encouraged: “Go check it out. My intuition tells me that’s the answer.”

Xiao Tiancai agreed but hesitated before leaving: “Your Majesty, may I have a word in private?”

Yu Wanyin was taken aback, her heart sinking. A doctor’s private words usually weren’t good news.

Xiahou Dan smiled and patted her: “Go ahead.”

Yu Wanyin followed him out. With her back turned, she couldn’t see Xiahou Dan’s threatening look at Xiao Tiancai.

In the side hall, Xiao Tiancai turned and spoke directly: “Your Majesty remembers the previous promise, right?”

Yu Wanyin, expecting news about Xiahou Dan’s condition, was momentarily stunned but then revitalized: “Oh, you mean releasing Consort Xie? Sure, after the conflict with Prince Duan, I’ll ensure her safe departure from the capital.”

Xiao Tiancai hesitated again.

Yu Wanyin: “?”

Xiao Tiancai seemed to be choosing his words carefully: “The emperor is certainly blessed… but Prince Duan is cunning…”

Yu Wanyin understood.

He meant: What if Prince Duan wins and Consort Xie can’t escape?

Previously, she hadn’t considered this. In the past, she might have agreed immediately, but now, having seen the world’s cruelty, she couldn’t help but think: What if Consort Xie joined Prince Duan? Even if she was sincere about leaving, would Prince Duan let go of such an information source?

“How about this,” she said slowly, “On the day of the empress dowager’s burial, after Prince Duan’s entourage leaves the city, I’ll have Consort Xie sent away in the opposite direction.” By then, Prince Duan would be too late to catch her.

She expected further debate but Xiao Tiancai, understanding the situation, knelt in gratitude: “Your Majesty’s kindness, I shall remember always.”

Yu Wanyin hurriedly helped him up: “Please, don’t be like this. I feel unworthy. I promised to let you leave with her, but right now, the emperor’s poison has no cure, and we still need your help.”

Xiao Tiancai was silent for a moment before softly replying, “I never intended to leave. As long as Consort Xie lives a peaceful life, I have no other desires.”

Yu Wanyin couldn’t help but look at him with admiration: “Actually, it’s okay to have desires. No one would mind.”

Xiao Tiancai stiffened and looked down uncomfortably: “I… I know I can’t win her heart or her favor. Rather than making her resent me, it’s better to let her go. In the future, with the vast world before her, she might think of an old friend whenever she sees the mountains and rivers.”

A true romantic, a genuine romantic.

Yu Wanyin respectfully said, “Don’t worry, I will make the arrangements.”

With her assurance, Xiao Tiancai left, bowing in gratitude, careful not to let her see the guilt on his face.

He was eager to send Xie Yong’er away, not just because of Prince Duan. He also feared that Yu Wanyin would realize that even if he stayed, he wasn’t of much value.

The emperor’s threatening look earlier was a reminder not to reveal things that shouldn’t be said.

For instance, the poison in his body had been accumulating since before he was born, becoming irreversible. The handful of poison administered by the young prince was the last straw.

And also, the empress dowager’s last words before she died were actually four characters: “This poison has no cure.”

In the funeral hall, Xiahou Dan watched the two walk away and immediately found a chair to sit down, pressing his hands against his forehead with a force as if trying to crush it.

In the midst of the continuous pain, blurred memories suddenly resurfaced. He saw again, many years ago, his great-grandmother on her deathbed, gasping for breath. In the month before she finally passed, that poor woman screamed incoherently every day. At that time, no one knew what she was screaming about.

If the same fate awaited him…

Xiahou Dan let out a bitter laugh.

He didn’t want her to see such a ghastly sight.

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2 thoughts on “Chapter 19: No Solution”

  1. Honestly, I don’t understand why ML constantly doesn’t say something in almost all novels. Does he think ignorance is better than knowledge or what? Well, it’s not always like that. Sometimes it’s better to know a fact than not to know it. Or does ML think that FL will be less anxious then? This way she will find out later and will cry and suffer even more because of the critical situation. Otherwise, she would know in advance and could find a solution. And either I don’t understand something or they’re wrong…

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