But Shixiong Doesn’t Want To Be A Villain!: Chapter 67

But Shixiong Doesn’t Want To Be A Villain!: Chapter 67

The warm, alcohol-infused breath, laced with a deep and tempting voice, whispered into Bai Fanlu’s ear, and he felt danger closing in.

He tried to keep calm and said, “What step…?”

But in the next moment, Bai Fanlu regretted asking such a simple and “foolish” question.

“Naturally… the wedding night rites.”

Boom!

Bai Fanlu felt like his face was about to explode. Just as he grasped a moment of clarity, he stammered, “No, you’re… you’re lying to me.”

“Lying about what?”

Mu Yunhe securely held the bride, who was trying to escape, in his arms, using his physical advantage to enjoy watching Bai Fanlu lose his composure.

No wonder they say the wedding night is one of life’s greatest pleasures. He was realizing it late, but teasing his spouse like this was incredibly fun. The more he flirted, the more he couldn’t stop, and the more skilled he became at it.

Bai Fanlu tried to argue, “Didn’t you tell Liu Xin that once we drank the wedding wine, the ceremony would be complete?”

“Yes, I said that,” Mu Yunhe didn’t deny it.

Bai Fanlu quickly added, “I agreed to marry you, so once the ceremony is over, that’s it. I didn’t agree to anything after… after that.”

“What do you mean by ‘after’?”

“…”

Bai Fanlu’s face felt like it was on fire. Luckily, he couldn’t see Mu Yunhe’s current expression. If he could, he might have died of embarrassment on the spot.

“Let go of me.”

Sitting in Mu Yunhe’s lap and negotiating like this was hard enough, not to mention that they had both consumed aphrodisiac wine. Even if they hadn’t, staying clear-headed in this position was no easy task.

“The wedding robes are still tied together. If I let go of you, you might fall,” Mu Yunhe “helpfully” reminded him.

Bai Fanlu said, “Where’s the knot? I’ll untie it. The ceremony is over, so it should be fine to untie it now.”

“Alright, I’ll untie it.” Mu Yunhe temporarily let go of Bai Fanlu and turned to undo the knot.

Bai Fanlu wasn’t expecting him to agree so easily, so he waited attentively, ready to jump up the moment the knot was undone.

After a while, Mu Yunhe said, “I can’t untie it.”

“…What do you mean?”

“It really won’t come undone. They tied a dead knot.”

Young Lord Mu was unfazed as he blamed the maids with a straight face. After all, Bai Fanlu couldn’t see his expression, so as long as he sounded sincere, it would seem convincing.

“…Did you tie it?” Bai Fanlu wasn’t easily fooled and grew suspicious.

“How could you think that of me?” Mu Yunhe feigned shock.

“I’ll untie it myself. Don’t move.”

Bai Fanlu refused to give in and tried to untie the knot himself. But no matter how much strength or skill he used, the knot really was a dead knot—it simply wouldn’t budge.

Mu Yunhe carefully observed Bai Fanlu’s expression and asked, “What should we do now?”

“Do you have scissors? Cut it!”

Whoa… such fierceness in his bride…

But Mu Yunhe loved it! Loved it so much!

Remaining calm, Mu Yunhe replied, “Cutting it would damage the wedding robe. That’s a bad omen.”

According to what Liu Xin had said, Bai Fanlu cared about things like good omens and bad luck. Mu Yunhe observed that Bai Fanlu’s concern for the wedding ceremony might differ from his own, but it was clear he wanted everything to be proper.

As expected, Bai Fanlu fell silent.

“So, we can’t stay like this forever, can we?” Being stuck together forever wasn’t going to work. What kind of marriage custom was this?

Mu Yunhe held back his laughter.

His bride was just too adorable. Who would have thought that beneath his seemingly composed and restrained personality lay such a side? It made Mu Yunhe want to kiss that anxious face and declare his love to the world.

But he knew better than to push his luck. If he upset Bai Fanlu, it would backfire.

“Of course we won’t stay like this.”

“Then how do we fix it?”

If they couldn’t cut the robe or untie the knot, Bai Fanlu couldn’t figure it out.

Mu Yunhe barely suppressed his laughter and, in a serious but helpless tone, said, “Just take it off, and we’ll be free.”

Bai Fanlu froze.

He had thought of this solution but had instinctively dismissed it.

Mu Yunhe’s hand was still around his waist, fingers just near the waistband. “What newlyweds sleep in their clothes? If we take them off, we’ll be free.”

“…”

“Should I help you undress?”

Bai Fanlu immediately grabbed Mu Yunhe’s hand to stop him from undoing his waistband.

Mu Yunhe teased, “You don’t want to be apart from me, do you?”

Through gritted teeth, Bai Fanlu replied, “You undress. I’m not taking mine off.”

It was a joke! Only one of them needed to undress to solve the problem, and he wasn’t about to fall for it.

“Alright.”

Mu Yunhe casually removed his wedding robe. Even though Bai Fanlu couldn’t see, the sound of the rustling fabric made his face feel hot for some reason.

Now that Mu Yunhe was left in his undergarments, Bai Fanlu clutched the groom’s robe to avoid dragging it around and making movement difficult.

“And now? What do you expect me to do?” Mu Yunhe asked.

Bai Fanlu had already taken a few steps back and cleared his throat, purposely replying in a cold voice, “The wine. Where’s the antidote?”

“I didn’t put anything in the wine. How would I have the antidote?”

“That’s impossible! Who else would have done it?”

“It was my mother.”

Your mother—our mother-in-law, Mu Yunhe thought, but he didn’t want to touch on Bai Fanlu’s sensitive nerves just yet. They’d officially acknowledge the relationship tomorrow when they served tea, so he wasn’t in a rush.

“You’re lying again. Why would the princess do that?”

“I didn’t expect it either. She didn’t just add something to the wine. She also gave me… some books and other things that I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know about.”

Bai Fanlu was overwhelmed by the amount of information. His mind slowly processed it. Books and “other things” in the bridal chamber? It wasn’t likely to be the Four Books and Five Classics.

He was left speechless, his face heating up even more.

“If you want,” Mu Yunhe said, “I can go ask her for the antidote right now. She probably hasn’t gone to bed yet.”

“…Wait.”

Mu Yunhe had already placed his hand on the door when Bai Fanlu urgently called him back.

Was he serious? Was the young lord really going to ask the princess?

“Don’t go to the princess. Can you… can you sleep somewhere else tonight? Oh, right, you’re already undressed. Or maybe I should… I should move somewhere else…”

After a long pause, there was a sigh.

At this point, Bai Fanlu realized he might have gone a bit too far.

This was their wedding night. If they slept in separate rooms, rumors would surely spread by the next day, though Bai Fanlu trusted Mu Yunhe could manage to avoid that.

After a while, Mu Yunhe asked, “Do you really dislike this so much?”

His tone was different now—clearly hurt, and dejected.

“Did you marry me just because of that prophecy? Is there nothing more?”

Hearing this made Bai Fanlu feel uneasy. But the heat building up in his body was something he couldn’t ignore. Heaven knew how much effort it was taking him to maintain his composure.

This was the third time he had fallen victim to such substances. The first time was with the flower thief, which he had forced out of his body after killing him. The second was at Baihua Pavilion, where he had escaped to a cave. But now, without any martial arts to expel the effects, what could he do?

Luckily, the current effects didn’t seem as strong. It was probably just meant to spice up the wedding night. But being in the same room with Mu Yunhe greatly increased the risk.

“I…” Bai Fanlu bit his lip. “Give me some more time. It’s really too soon.”

He couldn’t reject Mu Yunhe too harshly, opting instead for a more gentle approach.

“Alright.”

Hearing Mu Yunhe agree, Bai Fanlu relaxed slightly. But then Mu Yunhe asked, “How long do I need to wait?”

Oh no. This question made Bai Fanlu’s face, which had just cooled down, burn red again.

He wanted to brush it off, saying, “I’m not sure.” But given that they were already married, it wouldn’t be fair to leave Mu Yunhe hanging without a proper answer.

After thinking it over, Bai Fanlu said, “After your birthday.”

It was less than a month away. By then, after passing the heavenly tribulation, they would no longer be tied to this chessboard of fate. What happened here would be like a fleeting dream, easily forgotten, and promises wouldn’t have to be kept.

“After my birthday, it’ll be fine?” Mu Yunhe asked.

Did he really need

 to clarify this down to the exact day and hour? As if he was that impatient.

Bai Fanlu’s ears burned, and he simply replied, “Yes.”

Mu Yunhe chuckled. “Alright, I’ll wait.”

He stood by the door for a while longer. Bai Fanlu could sense that Mu Yunhe was still looking at him, so he lowered his head and fidgeted with the embroidery on the groom’s robe, picking at it compulsively.

Finally, Mu Yunhe said, “I’ll leave now. Get some rest.”

“…You too.”

Bai Fanlu eagerly awaited the sound of the door opening and closing so he could finally rid himself of the cumbersome wedding attire and crawl into bed, bringing this chaotic day to an end.

But the expected sound didn’t come. Instead, there was a loud click, followed by the clanking of chains.

“…”

“…”

Mu Yunhe tried pulling the door a couple of times, then called out, “Someone!”

There was no response. Silence.

“What’s wrong?” Bai Fanlu asked, a terrible feeling creeping over him.

“…The door’s locked from the outside,” Mu Yunhe said calmly.

At that moment, a red slip of paper was slid under the door.

Mu Yunhe picked it up and saw a few hastily written characters, clearly in the handwriting of someone who didn’t practice much — a certain female general.

“Son, don’t thank me. Your mother.”

Mu Yunhe held the note in his hand, first frowning, then slowly smiling with a helpless expression. He turned to the still-confused Bai Fanlu.

“Someone deliberately locked us in. Do you want to know what the note says?”

No, Bai Fanlu turned away. If everything Mu Yunhe said before was true, then this was undoubtedly the princess’s doing as well.

This mother-in-law was truly doing everything she could for her son.

Should Bai Fanlu praise her for being as sharp as ever?

Bai Fanlu walked forward, feeling his way around, but Mu Yunhe quickly came to support him, though Bai Fanlu didn’t really need it.

Afraid that Bai Fanlu might misunderstand, Mu Yunhe explained, “My mother meant well.”

Bai Fanlu sat silently on the bed. Mu Yunhe didn’t dare sit too close and offered, “Tonight, you sleep on the bed, and I’ll sleep on the floor.”

For the proud Young Lord Mu to voluntarily offer to sleep on the floor, such a situation was probably unprecedented.

But, of course, the only one who could share a room with Mu Yunhe at night was his new bride.

Not wanting to give himself a chance to soften, Bai Fanlu dove under the covers.

However, Mu Yunhe soon followed him onto the bed. Bai Fanlu felt the mattress dip and was about to turn over when Mu Yunhe said, “Don’t move. Let me undo your hair. Sleeping with it tied up is uncomfortable.”

The phoenix hairpin came off easily, but the hairband was trickier. For most men, women’s hairstyles were a mystery, and they had no reason to study them. Besides, Mu Yunhe was a martial artist, so undoing hair wasn’t exactly his specialty.

Still, Mu Yunhe worked carefully, one knee resting on the bed while the other leg stretched out, making sure not to get too close. He leaned over and fumbled with the tangled hairband, his hands trembling slightly from the effort.

But he was patient and meticulous, never tugging on Bai Fanlu’s hair. By the time Bai Fanlu realized it, Mu Yunhe was running his fingers gently through his long hair.

The sensation of fingers moving through his hair felt quiet yet strangely intimate.

Bai Fanlu shrank further into the covers. Mu Yunhe, sensing this, withdrew his hand and got off the bed.

The early summer night was still a bit chilly.

Bai Fanlu lay under the covers in his clothes, not feeling cold. He lay there with his eyes closed for a long time but couldn’t fall asleep, though the heat inside him seemed to be subsiding gradually.

He listened carefully. Mu Yunhe was lying on the floor nearby, his breathing steady but still awake. He hadn’t moved for a long time.

Mu Yunhe was only wearing light clothing. Wouldn’t he catch a cold like this?

Given the events of the night, Bai Fanlu doubted there would be any extra bedding in the room.

After much hesitation and thought, Bai Fanlu finally spoke, though he wasn’t sure who he was addressing.

“Come up and sleep on the bed too.”

After a long pause, Bai Fanlu heard a faint sound, followed by the weight of another person settling onto the bed. However, Mu Yunhe was careful not to get under the covers, lying rigidly on top of them without moving.

Bai Fanlu thought this was pointless. He had already invited him to sleep on the bed to keep him from catching a cold. Why lie on top of the covers?

“The blanket… seems big enough,” Bai Fanlu remarked casually.

After a brief silence, Mu Yunhe finally slipped under the covers. He kept his distance, lying at the far end of the bed and watching Bai Fanlu’s back.

A little while later, Bai Fanlu shifted uncomfortably.

“Are you hot? You’re still wearing clothes…” Mu Yunhe asked.

Bai Fanlu was indeed warm. He hadn’t noticed it while alone, but now with someone else in bed, his layered bridal gown was too much.

“I’ll turn around. I won’t look,” Mu Yunhe said, understanding the implication.

Bai Fanlu heard him turn over and, after some thought, decided to undress. There was still an inner layer beneath the bridal robe, and besides, they had already agreed. Mu Yunhe had been respectful so far, so it would be childish to hesitate.

So, Bai Fanlu sat up and began to remove the gown.

But apart from the waistband, there was a row of hidden buttons inside, which Bai Fanlu struggled to undo.

“Let me help you,” Mu Yunhe offered when he noticed Bai Fanlu’s trouble.

Bai Fanlu was sweating by now, eager to get rid of the dress, so he didn’t refuse.

But Mu Yunhe wasn’t much better at it. One moment his hands were at Bai Fanlu’s chest, the next at his waist, fumbling around clumsily.

“I’ve never undressed anyone before,” Mu Yunhe clarified as he worked.

“…I know.” Bai Fanlu replied, though there was no need to state that. Still, hearing it made him feel… a little more comfortable.

Since undressing in silence was awkward, Mu Yunhe added, “That’s why my mother was worried I’d hurt you tonight…”

“…That… that kind of thing doesn’t need explaining.”

Bai Fanlu was flustered. He couldn’t see, but he could feel Mu Yunhe’s hands moving over him, even through the layers of clothing. It was probably just his imagination, but the sensation felt incredibly clear.

Just as Bai Fanlu wondered why the dress still wasn’t coming off, he suddenly felt a weight lift from his shoulder as the red bridal robe finally slipped off.

But along with it, the left shoulder of his inner garment also slipped down, revealing part of his body.

Bai Fanlu quickly grabbed the inner garment and, in a flurry of movement, tossed both their wedding robes to the foot of the bed before diving back under the covers.

The blanket was lifted slightly, and Bai Fanlu shivered as Mu Yunhe moved closer.

“You have feelings for me too…”

“No! That’s just the aphrodisiac wine!” Bai Fanlu hastily denied.

Oh no, he had walked right into the trap. Mu Yunhe might not have noticed earlier, but now Bai Fanlu had essentially admitted to reacting.

“I’m ready, I won’t hurt you…”

“I’m not ready,” Bai Fanlu retorted.

Why did it feel like Mu Yunhe was getting closer again? The once-clear boundary between them seemed to be shrinking. Bai Fanlu curled up tightly, trying to hide his increasingly uncontrollable reaction.

But it was too late. A hand slipped around his waist, resting firmly on his front. The warmth of Mu Yunhe’s touch made Bai Fanlu shudder, almost losing consciousness.

“I know you’re not ready. I won’t take advantage of you.”

Mu Yunhe, pressing his forehead against the back of Bai Fanlu’s neck, seemed to be suppressing something himself. He was trembling slightly too.

Bai Fanlu’s mind was in chaos. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t resist.

“You said you wouldn’t take advantage… You promised… Please… let go…”

Bai Fanlu’s voice was almost pleading, tinged with a sob.

It’s often said that those who appear composed and restrained on the surface are the ones who fall the hardest when emotions take over. Mu Yunhe had never put much stock in such theories, but seeing Bai Fanlu’s reaction now, he realized how true it was. All the grand, enticing tales of earthly pleasures paled in comparison to this moment.

Mu Yunhe gently bit Bai Fanlu’s ear. “I promised not to consummate our marriage. I didn’t say I couldn’t do this.”

Bai Fanlu’s mind went blank. This was cheating! This wasn’t fair!

“Don’t worry, I just want to help you…” Mu Yunhe murmured against his earlobe. “Senior brother… let me help you…”

Hearing the words “senior brother,” Bai Fanlu felt a jolt, and a low moan escaped his throat. He felt like a fish out of water, struggling and gasping for air.

As his head tilted back unconsciously, Mu Yunhe’s burning lips landed on his neck. In a daze, Bai Fanlu heard the soft voice coaxing him, “Senior brother, call me Ah Zhan. I want to hear it.”

“Be good… call me Ah Zhan…”

Bai Fanlu could no longer think. All of his senses were focused on that overwhelming sensation in his body, stuck at one point and unable to break through.

Trembling, he let out a soft moan, “Ah Zhan…”

“Not enough, I want to hear more… call me again…”

Bai Fanlu felt like he was on the verge of tears. Overcome with frustration, anger, and urgency, he called out, “Ah Zhan! Ah Zhan…”

But the rest of his cries were swallowed in his throat.

Mu Yunhe leaned in, grabbed Bai Fanlu’s chin, and without warning, kissed him.

Bai Fanlu couldn’t resist. The kiss, so deep and intense it left him dizzy, forced him to open his mouth and accept it.

One moment his tongue was bitten as if in punishment, and the next it was being coaxed into submission, with nowhere to hide. Mu Yunhe’s relentless assault on his lips and body left him completely entrapped, unable to escape, sinking deeper and deeper.

The taste of the wedding wine still lingered between their lips, and Mu Yunhe, who had always boasted about his ability to handle any amount of alcohol, found himself utterly intoxicated by just one kiss. He wasn’t even aware of when Bai Fanlu had begun to respond and reciprocate the kiss, but when he did, Mu Yunhe felt a rush of joy.

In that moment, Mu Yunhe nearly lost all reason, eager to reclaim control and quell Bai Fanlu’s tentative reactions.

Though inexperienced, their earlier clumsy kisses gradually became more natural, the intimacy flowing between them more seamlessly.

Yet Bai Fanlu found it harder to breathe, his chest tight, his ears filled with the pounding rhythm of both their heartbeats. Desperately needing to retreat for a breath of fresh air, he tried to pull away, but Mu Yunhe immediately caught up.

The kiss remained unbroken, and Mu Yunhe’s gentle, exploring fingers didn’t let Bai Fanlu go. At this point, Bai Fanlu felt like he was about to lose his mind.

Mu Yunhe gazed into Bai Fanlu’s unfocused eyes, noting the glimmer of tears forming at the corners, ready to spill.

His kiss moved to Bai Fanlu’s eyes as he softly whispered, “Beg me, senior brother…”

“Mmm…” Bai Fanlu shook his head unconsciously, his mouth releasing a string of fragmented breaths.

He continued to resist, stubbornly refusing to give in.

Mu Yunhe looked down at him, watching the shimmer at the edge of his eyelashes, the tears threatening to fall with each blink.

“Ah Zhan…”

The sound of his name, spoken like a soft, cat-like whisper, nearly destroyed Mu Yunhe’s remaining self-control.

He paused for a moment, only to deepen the kiss again, shifting from tenderness to urgency. The kiss became more frantic and intense, their chests tightening from the lack of air, but Mu Yunhe was still unwilling to stop.

Bai Fanlu wanted to escape, but found himself unable to move. The deep sense of helplessness made him instinctively raise a hand, only for Mu Yunhe to seize his wrist. “Ah Zhan…”

“Beg me…” Mu Yunhe’s voice was just as breathless, but he continued to demand as he kissed Bai Fanlu’s lips.

“Please… I’m begging you…” Bai Fanlu, by now, had abandoned all sense of shame. That hand, capable of delivering both bliss and torment, had taken him to the brink of both heaven and hell.

At this moment, was he in heaven or hell?

Bai Fanlu didn’t know. He didn’t want to know, nor could he think about it. All he could see was—

The previously deep darkness seemed to split apart with a flash of lightning, as if he were suddenly bathed in light, regaining his sight for a fleeting moment.

And then, everything sank into oblivion.

Author’s note:

Bai Fanlu: A man’s mouth is a liar’s tool.

Yun Zhan: You lied to me too.

Bai Fanlu: What did I lie about?

Yun Zhan: You told me after my birthday, you’d let me have my way, but you’re just planning to run away.

Bai Fanlu: You… stop being so crude. “Consummation” doesn’t mean you get to “have your way.”

Yun Zhan: I never said you had to be on the bottom. According to The Eighteen Forms, there are positions where you’re on top. Let me check…

Bai Fanlu: /////// You can go die.

Yun Zhan: I want to die in your arms, senior brother.

Audience: Such scandalous words! Scandalous words!

Author: You two, take your flirting somewhere else. I need to write! This chapter was really hard to write (frustration intensifies).

Author’s OS (inner voice): Can someone tell me what the boundaries are for content allowed on social media?

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